Today I got busted real bad. And it wasn't even my fault at all!
All I was trying to do was preheat the oven so that I could make my famous cookie mish-mash, which is one of my favorite things to eat. If you haven't tried it then you're kind of a loser but here's how you make it:
How to make "Cookie Mish-Mash"
-1 brownie tray
-8 rainbow cookies
-6 oreo cookies
-a lot of cereal
-1/2 bottle of soda
-about 95 ounces of sugar
-1 secret ingredient (nice try, not telling!)
See? Pretty easy! You just put all those awesome things into the brownie tray and then put the oven on and then put it in the oven and then wait fifteen minutes and then take it out of the oven and then eat all of it really fast so that you get it all over your face and then you take a nap so that you can go to sleep and eat more of it in your dreams. That's basically it.
It's really hard to make cookie mish-mash on the weekends because the boy one and the girl one are home because their jobs don't meet on saturday and sunday. if you ask me, that seems pretty lazy to not go to work just because the calander says weekend but nobody has really been asking me lately. (why isn't anyone asking me about if I think other people are being really lazy or not!?!?! The world is such a fickle place!?!?!)
Anyway, the girl one was in the bedroom talking to her mom on the phone. I strategically waited until she started telling this super duper long story about a movie she saw that she didn't invite me to go see and that's when I made a run for the kitchen. I didn't tell any of the other bears because they're usually just tattletales about my most best ideas.
So I climbed up on the cabinets and played around on the stove for a couple minutes. Then I started to get winded and remembered that I was a man on a mission. It was really hard to push the knob to turn on the oven for the preheating but I got my tail to help push things along. I don't know how the humans survive without tails. I think they must really have tails but pretend like the don't because of some conspiracy.
Then everything went so wrong. It wasn't even my fault! It turns out that there was a box of lucky charms in the oven (because apparently there was no room on the shelf) and the cereal lit on fire and made a really bad smell. The girl one came in and did a gasp and then put her hands on her hips and said what is going on in her.
"Are you talking to me or still your Mom?" I asked.
"Claude Bear!" she yelled. "You're such a troublemaker."
I tried to tell her that I wasn't a troublemaker at all, just a dessertmaker. But she didn't care. She got off the phone with her Mom and then told me I was in BIG trouble.
BIG trouble usually means no TV, or no cake. If you're not gonna let me watch TV or eat cake, why don't you just kill me. Right?
I couldn't handle the possibility of all this trouble so I did a patented move: I rubbed her on the cheek with my tail. And then she looked at me. And I made my eyes fall in love with her eyes. Then she smiled. I was almost home free and then I went in for the kill. I smooched her really hard and she loved it so much.
"Ok, no punishment this time," she said. "But next time..."
I waited for like an hour but she didn't finish the sentence.
Then I decided to finish the sentence myself "But next time...I'll just do another kiss and get out of trouble."
So basically, I'm invincible!